OH hi there its the ramble corner

This is where i rant about random things

I've been playing a lot of snake recently, on coolmathgames specifically, and its giving me a lot of very warm feelings.

Trying other sites's , other downloadable verisions of, even building my own (very slapped together) snake all I found was that that instance of the game on coolmathgames *feels* better to me.

Just telling you that ive played ' a lot ' of snake recently is a bit misleading, actually. Two to Three hours per day minimum is more accurate, though it is hard to say given im not in the habit of constantly checking all the clocks around me for the current time. Isn't it stange how we are constantly surrounded by clocks but still find it simple to loose track of time?

It starts like this : I am trying to escape the bubble of social media. The internet is so large yet so many of us are restrained to just the big sites - as the saying goes ' there may as well be no google page two ' - that I needed *out* of the algorithms. For other people intersted in this i highly reccomend Yesterweb's links and Neocities and jumping off points. It was while browsing these sites I remembered coolmaths.

As you have probably gathered in the past couple paragraphs, I get sidetracked very easily. Cliche a problem as it is, I struggle with remaining in the present. I stub my toe and I am worrying for the rest of the day about when I will next stub my toe, I see a rough navy carpet and I remember the dim computer class of my childhood - angling the computer screen just away from the teacher even though i'd been given permission to play games after finishing work before.

I love feeling close to the past like that, in those moments of triggered memories. I dont think that it is just a longing for simpler times because even after all these years of people telling me i should miss Primary School I never want to feel as alone and hurt as i did back then again. Those moments, though, those few happy moments i had ( almost entirely set within the computer class because i am and have alway been a nerd ) its not wrong to treasure those.

Sometimes, i envy people who can just play a game like snake over and over, never thinking about all those other times in anything more than numbers but i also have pity. When i play snake i am suddenly a child again, fifteen and full of anxiety but also thirteen and facinated at the world, steadfastly ignoring my first heatbreak, twelve and daunted at just how big the world can be. I am eight and so alone, but i dont need to be anymore because in that moment i am suddenly a bright green snake on a dark backround looking for food.

This all got a little more stream of concious than i was planning but i hope you get what im trying to get across and why i was never any good at poetry verses computer science. Though that may have also been all the daydreaming in english class, leaning against the window i could feel like all the versions of me on the cramped bus ride home rain battering all sides but that was always an issue for future me to deal with.

Thanks for reading my first ever blog, good luck wherever you go next.

- Puppet